“Faire la bise”[fer la biz]

“To kiss on the cheek”

To faire la bise is to greet someone in the traditional French fashion: with a kiss on each cheek.

In some regions of France (and in other Francophone countries), three or more kisses is on par, but generally speaking, two is the standard choice.

Un bisou and un baiser both mean ‘a kiss,’ but if you ask someone to faire un bisou, you might get more than you bargained for.  As far as un baiser goes, it’s a phrase best avoided; as a noun, it’s innocuous enough, but as a verb, you’d be proposing a lot more than a smack on the lips.

(Baisser, however, simply means ‘to lower’ or ‘put down,’ so don’t jump to slap someone if they tell you to take a load off.)

Of course, you’ll never have to ask someone to faire la bise, they’ll just do it.

Generally, only people who know each other already font la bise.  You would only be expected to participate when meeting or leaving a French friend, when meeting a French friend of a French friend, or when meeting somebody’s child.

(When I was staying with a host family in France, we went to a big, extended-family reunion, and just because I was staying with four of them, I was expected to go around bise-ing everyone!  It added an extra twenty minutes to saying goodbye.)

In a business setting, it is appropriate and expected to shake hands (se serrer la main).  Younger business colleagues who know each other may exchange the traditional bises, but as a foreigner coming into a French business setting, you would not be expected to partake.

In France, it is common to offer an elbow or finger if your hands are wet or dirty.

Here are some things you can say if you don’t think a kiss on the cheek or a shake of the hand is a good idea, or if the exchange feels awkward:

Phrases

Phrases

Pardon, excusez-moi.

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Sorry, excuse me.

Je suis désolé(e).

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I’m sorry.

J’ai un rhume.

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I have a cold.

Je suis un peu malade.

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I am a little sick.

Pardon, mes mains sont sales/mouillées

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Sorry, my hands are dirty/wet.

Je suis américain(e).

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I’m American.

Pardon, je ne suis pas habitué(e).

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Sorry, I’m not used to it.

On ne fait pas ça aux États-Unis.

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We don’t do that in the U.S.

Vocabulaire

Vocabulary

une bise / un bisou / un baiser

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a kiss

un câlin

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a hug

s’étreindre

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to hug, to embrace

s’embracer

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to kiss

se serrer la main

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to shake hands

Questions/Réponses

Questions/Responses

Aux Etats-Unis, faîtes-vous la bise?

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In the U.S., do you kiss on the cheek?

Et avec vos amis, qu’est-ce que vous faîtes?

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And with your friends, what do you do? (formal)

Et avec tes amis, qu’est-ce que tu fais?

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And with your friends, what do you do? (informal)

Aux États-Unis, on se serre la main pour se saluer.

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In the U.S., we shake hands to greet one another.

Mes amis et moi, nous nous étreignons.

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My friends and I hug each other.

A child will often give an adult une bise (one kiss) on the cheek.  The adult’s only job is to lean in and offer a cheek low enough for a child to reach.

In France, men who know each other will often kiss on the cheek, as well as men and women, and women and women.

I have been told that the aim of la bise is to press cheeks and kiss the air, and (for the ladies) to watch out for men who go for full mouth-to-face contact, but the rules vary.

When in doubt, offer a hand,

but don’t be surprised to see that cheek approaching!